1.15.2007

My new leaf

So, I have been failing lately. Not at anything in particular, just, well, everything... I have actually been doing terribly in school, which is terrible, because its not that I don't get the material, but I just can't concentrate to do the work. I'm going for some testing later in the month to see if I have something, but whatever... everything still sucks...

There's nothing interesting anymore. I'm starting to think that maybe all those superficial people with their irrelevant drama had something right. See, when you have drama in your life, stupid or not, it makes things interesting, it gives you a reason to live. Drama gives you something to dwell on, to avoid thinking of all the depressing things of life. But, I have no drama. No good drama, anyways. Just school and my future and my friends (or lack of those lately).

I can't wait to get out of high school. To get to a point where people stop taking stupid things so seriously and just chill.
Like, when someone is hanging around me or wants to be my friend, that's cool. Lately I've gotten past caring whether they are annoying or stupid or all the other stuff people complain about them. What's the point of wasting my time caring about that. If someone wants to be my friend, I'll be their friend too. I hate this whole exclusivity thing. It's only to feel superior. I have friends who ask me why I am friends with , say, the more "nerdy" population at our school. and I say "why not? they're nicer than you. They'll do favours for you, they'll care about what you have to say, they're more than just self centred. Why exclude them because they might not be as socially suave as others"
There was this one kid last year who was pretty off the wall. Everyone talked about him, and how weird he was, blah blah blah, same old, same old. But I respect him for standing up and doing what he enjoys. He is truly himself, and I admire that. He knows what people say but he doesn't care, cause he's got his friends. I think that's the most important thing. And then these other people think I'm weird for saying that I respect him. Why do they get to feel all superior? Because they're in a band? Because they have blonde hair? Because they have boyfriends or girlfriends? Half of them can't even pass any of their subjects, and then they call other people stupid. Whoever created high school must have been out of their minds to not foresee what would come out of sticking thousands of pubescent teens under one roof to try to make them learn. And that, ladies and gentlemen, is my rant of the month.

All I can say is I'm glad I'm getting out of this place in six months.